I have to admit that before my email landed on Above the Law, I had read one blog in my life. A few years ago, a friend started a blog, and I read it out of a sense of obligation. And because I was curious to find out what was going on behind that thick skull of his. On the whole, though, I never felt that I had time to read blogs. I am incessantly behind on my regular reading. I am usually in the middle of at least five different books, which are piled up on my bedstand for many months with bookmarks sticking out at varied stages of progression. (I obviously have commitment issues when it comes to books.) I have a pile of New Yorker waiting for me. I canceled my subscription to Harper's Magazine last year because I found it too painful to throw away the beautiful issues that sat unread for months. And I haven't even listed the newspapers and fluff magazines I love to skim.
Yesterday, I poked around a little to see what blogs are out there. I clicked on one blog someone sent me, then clicked on the other blogs listed on her blog, ran across lists of links to even more blogs, and before I knew it, I found myself falling into a hole cluttered with words, thoughts, rants, gossip, advice, gibberish... I was suffocating in words, words, and endless words. I couldn't take it. I clicked the x on Firefox, pretended I didn't have internet access, took an advil, and focused on my contract work for the next few hours.
Later that afternoon, I cautiously went back. This time, I started by clicking on the blog of someone who had commented on my blog. As I started reading, I found myself reading the words of an attorney who had suffered a miscarriage last year, who grieved for the following months, and who is now eight months pregnant. I couldn't pull myself away. I saw me in her, her in me. I was so grateful to read the honest words of this real person who took the time to tell me she exists on the other end of this country, who cried as much as I did, who feared for the unknown future and came out smiling on the other end. I want to give her a hug for giving me this buoy to latch onto.
So onto my now growing list of good things that have come out of my stupid job fiasco, I am adding this community of bloggers. I imagine them, huddled like mice in their small cubbyholes with their thoughts, intentions, dreams, gossip, and advice, clicking away when the rest of the world is busy doing its thing, believing that the fruits of their efforts will eventually be found in the light of day. Won't you make room for one more mouse?