Since my parents left about ten days ago, today is the first day I've felt somewhat in control of my day. Instead of the day whipping me around by my ass, I actually felt one step ahead of it. By 4pm, I had already worked out, finished all of the laundry, had all bottles cleaned and sterilized, had vacuumed, had eaten both breakfast and lunch, and had even remembered to drink lots of fluids to help with the lactation and eat lots of fruit to help with a certain other problem. Compare that to Tuesday, when I felt like having a little breakdown for failing to keep myself well hydrated and barely having a chance to finish half a sandwich for lunch while foregoing dinner altogether because I was so tired.
It's a challenge to try to fit in all of the chores while the baby is asleep, and god forbid he awakes before I had finished going through all of the tasks on my list -- which has been the rule, not the exception. The one privilege I started allowing myself is a workout at the gym. I jump in the car and speed up and down the hills of Noe Street like a madwoman to get to the gym to fit in my 30-40 minute workout while Jeff hangs out with the baby.
It is only because Jeff has been a partner in the true sense of the word in taking care of our little Baby T that things have been as manageable as they have been. We've broken up the nights into two shifts, and I have not been sleep deprived since we started that schedule. When I fretted about failing to take good care of myself and negatively impacting my lactation, he ran out and picked up a bunch of groceries for us -- and cooked a healthy dinner for us last night. I don't know how single mothers do it -- they have my deepest respect.
So it should not be a surprise that my blogging has suffered a bit in the past several weeks. I can sit and write for an hour -- or hold my baby in that time -- or sleep. We have grand plans to make life easier for ourselves -- like hiring someone to clean our house. But it will only happen when we have time to look for someone. With each day, however, our new life seems easier. And one of these days, I will be able to post entries with coherent thoughts once again. Until then, dear readers, I beg for your patience...