Sunday, July 11, 2010

Reason for Change

On Friday night, my mom called because she learned about my blog and was upset that I wrote so publicly about some matters.

Initially, I reacted with anger at her negative reaction to my blog. I had written about her with such tenderness and affection, and yet, she seemed to have missed all of that. She also seemed to have skipped over most of my longings about our family and my sadness about our misunderstandings and miscommunications. Instead, she focused on a couple of posts about my sister and sister-in-law and was embarrassed that our family's discord would be so exposed.

I thought I had been relatively cautious about what I wrote and tried very hard to be fair to those I portrayed. I had hoped to avoid indicting those in my life through my writing, and trying for some new level of understanding instead. But I can see how she could feel that I violated our family's sense of privacy. Given the difference in our notions of privacy, perhaps I should have checked with her before writing about her in the first place, but given the wide gap in our cultural norms, I don't think I would have been allowed much leeway.

I have been feeling pained about this conflict. I wavered between deleting the blog altogether or just continuing to post. This morning, I decided to remove my name from my blog as she requested. Perhaps writing "anonymously" will give me more latitude, even though many of you already know who I am. It would be somewhat less stressful not to have my name pop up on google searches. Anyway, I would appreciate it if you refrain from using my name on comments going forward.


  1. How about we call you Bubbles? :-)

  2. I guess it's a good thing that my mom doesn't speak/read/write English! =)

  3. Hi, Grandma Wen, I would love to be called Bubbles!

    Mary, I thought my mom's English was limited as well.

  4. oh man. i didnt read this post until after i wrote a comment on 'baby veins' using your name. please delete my comment, im so sorry

  5. Hi, kareader, no worries. I think comments don't pop up on google searches, as far as I know. I started going through my old posts to remove references to my names but decided not to. It's not a problem.